mymackey : Saying Goodbye

So, yet again, it has been a while since I blogged last. Which, I know, in the blogging-world, is a huge no-no if you want to maintain your subscriber base and social media following. 

But, truth be told, I've been in a bit of a funk- I'll save that story for another day. 

But I felt the need to write today because Thursday, I euthanized my faithful companion of almost nine years. My dog Mackey, named after Vic Mackey from the FX show The Shield, had been my steadfast, loyal friend through the most challenging and simultaneously delightful years of my life. 

They say God places Angels among us. 

Call me nostalgic just because of the timing, but I have no doubt Mackey was that angel for me. Through a divorce, a separation, 3 children, then 4, a new marriage, and moving 8 times.... Mackey has been there (that is, when she wasn't running away- she was a winter breed you know ;)) 

We often called here "Eeyore" because of her pure apathy towards life. Unless life involved a squirrel. That was different... 

She was happy to sit around all day as I figured out this parenting thing, or just didn't want to get out of my jammies. And she was equally as happy to jump in the car and visit friends or family or go for a hike. She never woke us up at 3am to go out, she could go allll day if she had to, never had an accident in the house, and was far too apathetic to be destructive. Her only vice was food. She was a begger. And a food stealer if you weren't looking. And our under-the-table-vacuum, and dishwasher-pre-rinser. 

I went to get her with my first husband, when she was just 12 weeks. I printed out her picture online, filled out the applications, and went to pick up... her brother. Yep, that's right. I did NOT want a female dog. Sadly, her brother had already been chosen. So my then-husband and I looked around at the other puppies running amok and jumping on us and chasing other puppies or pieces of paper around this woman's garage... when I spotted the sister. The sister I said I didn't want. 

There she was: sitting in the corner, far too bored to be bothered by all this commotion. And what was that? She was missing a toe?? It looked like it probably needed surgery, and I was working at a vet. So that was it. We took home the lemon. 

After repairing her foot, spaying her, training her, and getting her used to her new routine of going to work with mommy every day- her many days at the vet as a greeter also suckered her in to being subject to an extra cautious mom- extra bloodwork, teeth brushing, daycare, and several ultrasounds. A combination of which soon proved that she had renal dysplasia, a congenital defect of the kidneys. It was unlikely she would live past the age of three. 

Seven years later... yep, seven.... we had what I suspected was nothing more then a little skin tag removed from her gums above her canine tooth. We sent it out for pathology (again, extra stuff because I worked at a vet) and it came back as fibrosarcoma, a form of cancer. 

A little over a year later, I noticed a lump on the opposite side of her gums, about the size of a nickel. Within weeks, it had swelled into her nasal cavity. We essentially hospice-d her here at home, with the help and guidance of her veterinarian, for the last several months. It became more and more difficult for her to breathe- and despite her normal days and attitude, normal appetite, and normal activity level- the nights were getting so hard on her- trying to breathe laying down. We knew it was time to say goodbye. 

She wouldn't lay down- which I knew she wouldn't.... I held her head and neck, and had one arm under her chest. As her body became heavier and heavier, I was able to easily scoop her onto my lap and continue to stroke her face and kiss her head. I reminded her what an amazing friend she had been. And that I hoped she would remember us too. 

We were blessed to have so many weeks to say good bye. 

I am afraid someday I will forget those last few minutes... and I hope I don't. I hope I don't forget that feeling of her resting her head on my shoulder.... the warmth and "Mackey" smell of that huge tuft of fur on the back of her neck..... her seemingly peaceful gaze into nothingness.... 

Fly away home, babygirl.... fly away home.... 

Mackey

March 22, 2005- Sept 19, 2013

<3 

I hope she has found her friends who have gone before her, and her brother or sister who would now be turning 2 in a few months. 

Have YOU ever lost a pet? What resources did you find helpful? Comment below, or find us on Facebook, twitter, or Pinterest. 

Birthday Depression... and NO, not my OWN Birthday!

It's the eve of Baby A's 3rd birthday.... wow, 3 years! Seems crazy!!! She was my only "easy" delivery ;) Came on time, on her scheduled C section date [you can read more about her delivery HERE] and it was, overall, a relaxed hospital stay. No major complications like with Spiderman, and I had full family, friend & hubby support.

Baby A's first photo <3 Just seconds after her birth <3 

But as I scroll through pictures and memories, as I often do when my children's birthdays approach.. I am not reminded of the ease of her actual birth. I am sucked back into a vortex of never-ending screaming. My stomach begins to curl into a knot as I recount the endless visits to chiropractors, pediatrics, medications for reflux, the pain of nursing with a poor latch, the use of the SNS, and still sitting (or as we often did, pacing) throughout the night (and day) with an inconsolable child.

There are no words. As soon as I even start to THINK of those first 12 months (yes, I said 12 months) I am immediately brought to tears. I can't fathom HOW I made it through! How WE made it through!

It reminds me also though, that there is an important message in this story besides what I learned about "colic" or why, in retrospect, I think Baby A was colicky- the message is essentially NOT to judge a book by its' cover.

Now, we hear this again and again- but here's what I mean: those 12 months were the worst of my life. Trumping my divorce, the horrible war that ensued following the demise of Spiderman's dad and I's relationship, my moving, financial struggles.. it trumps all! I tried going back to work at 6 weeks, but I couldn't- there was no way. She wasn't sleeping more than 15 minutes at a time then. (and NO, I am not exaggerating.)

So thankfully, my employer had a position open when I called back about 6 months postpartum. I started work then, but rarely slept, and now was just even more hurried during the day to get things done while still attempting to get 2 kids to daycare, one kid to high school (both in towns about 30 minutes from each other) and then get to work (another half hour away) and then do it all over again on the way home.  As I'm sure every working mother experiences, it was impossible.

I felt crappy. I felt like work wasn't happy as I scurried in in the  morning and shot out in the afternoon; my kids weren't happy as they were the first dropped off and last picked up; my hubby wasn't happy because I was stressed, tired, and the financial strain of the commute and daycare was just too much. I was desperate.

Desperate. 

On top of all of this, I felt a constant barrage of 'you're a bad mom', 'you're unstable', 'you can't concentrate', 'you don't seem motivated', 'you're too emotional' from ALL areas of my life.

No one outside our home could have understood the utter despair that I was going through at that time. YOU choose to say something to someone, or implicate something in someone's direction, and you have NO IDEA how much they are actually holding on their shoulders....

... I was actually supermom then.

SUPER. MOM.

I felt like no one else could have gone through what we went through and come out on the other side. No one.

Now, no doubt there are some other colic-survivors that hear what I'm sayin here! And no doubt, there are mothers and fathers of EVERY family that have their own trials and tribulations that could preach the same message: and THAT is precisely my point.

You never know what happens inside someone's home. Inside someone's heart.

Please, new parent or old friend... do NOT prejudge a situation, or a reaction, or an overall demeanor. Ask questions, offer support, and provide love/friendship/companionship/fellowship.

Today though, as I push the trauma of those first 12 months aside, I am astounded at how far we've come. We are now delighted with our diva-licious, princess, girly-girl, mama-in-the-making, mothers-helper, mini-me... and my bestest girl in the whole world! <3 

We love you Baby A- and can't wait to celebrate your 3rd Birthday with you tomorrow! muah! xo 

We're baaaaaack (again), and we have a Graduate!

Wow, I am so sorry. Yet again it has been too long since I have inserted my two cents into the world of mommy-blogging and virtual-parenting. Albeit it is mostly because I have been busy, well, parenting.

We did also experience some technical difficulties here at the Sirois home for a short stint which got me out of the blogging habit- never a good thing.

Anyway, here I am.

And I have a Kindergarten graduate. Can you believe that?!! WHERE does the time go?!

Graduations and birthdays are often a time of reflection, and it is no different now for us, as we watch Spiderman graduate from kindergarten, and turn 6 on Thursday.

6 years old.

My little man has NO idea what has happened in that 6 years. And really, retrospectively, I am glad it has only been 6 years.

As I 've mentioned before, such as in in between parenting , my ex bf and I share custody of Spiderman, and it hasn't always been an easy, or even existent for that matter, co parenting relationship. Nonetheless, as I reflect today, I am happy to see how far we've come.

I can see past the initial anger, and the hurt - to see the gorgeous, wonderful, happy, spirited, and intelligent little man we have raised - together.

Together with each other, our spouses, Spiderman's siblings, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, his friends, our friends.... he is ONE LOVED LITTLE BOY <3

And I am so proud at how far he's come, how far we've come, and what a magnificent life he has set before him. SO much love surrounds him from all sides- he can't lose!

I thought I would share some of my favorite "glimpses" of him through the years <3

Oh, my little Spiderman, how much has changed since you first entered kindergarten. I am so proud of the little man you are becoming, and so proud and honored to be your mommy <3 I love you! 

gWhat??!!! and JUST in time for SPRING!

gWhat?! gDiapers launches spring fashion for babies.

--   it’s gStyle from top to bottom   --

baby A modeling her gdiaper- the original face of NNM <3

gDiapers launches gStyle for spring 2013, coordinated top and bottoms for baby boys and girls. The spring 2013 gStyle collection features gWhat and gFleur. 

 

* The gWhat tee asks the question “what’s your favorite g word?” and coordinates with the gWhat gPant. 

 

from gdiapers, used with permission

 

* The sleeveless gFleur dress is a lavender and light green floral print that pairs prettily with the gFleur gPants.  

from gdiapers, used with permission

Both are available NOW at  gDiapers.com and select retailers

can't WAIT for Baby B to ROCK hers!! <3

About gDiapers: 

 

Kim and Jason Graham-Nye founded gDiapers in 2005. They had a baby on the way and a diaper decision to make. They found out some staggering, and literally earth-shattering news about conventional disposable diapers:

- 20 billion diapers get thrown in the landfill every year in the US. They are the third largest contributor to landfills.

-  It takes up to 500 years for disposable diapers to biodegrade.

-  90% of Americans use disposable diapers.

Today, gDiapers offers a colorful line of adorable diaper covers with 100% biodegradable* disposable inserts. gDiapers are as gentle on the earth as it is on babies. 

NNM and gdiapers:

You first learned of OUR experience with gdiapers when I explained that you (yes, YOU) can cloth diaper your baby. In the almost 3 years we have been using gdiapers, I have only recently added some other brands to our stash. 

Those of you that follow me on Facebook know that we have been dealing with some HORRIBLE stink issues as of late! I have never had that problem until now. My g's are still our favorite ;) 

our stash of small and newborn gdiapers (plus our two Blissful Booty's in the back) 

We also, of course, have a FULL stash of mediums and larges. <3 I am a LOVER of the hybrid. And I love being able to flush the gdiaper insert so my trash doesn't stink like diaper all day (don't be fooled- diaper genies don't work!) Poop goes where it belongs- in the toilet! 

Plus, HOW CUTE ARE THEY?? 

Baby B's g-butt (photo credit Photography by Kay ) 

 

SHOW SOME LOCAL LOVE and Share your favorite gdiaper retailer below!

Orange Rhino Update- OMG I'VE STOPPED YELLING!!! (oops!) ;)

Ok, so I have a ways to go still... but I have made significant progress in my attempt at the Orange Rhino Challenge

I am FINALLY at the 2 week mark of NO YELLING! Ok, do I need to work on not yelling at my husband??? Yes. That's next ;) 

But after spending way too much time feeling like a failure , I am happy to report that I have not only mastered catching myself before I raise voice towards my kids... but I also have taken more significant steps at figuring out my triggers, and essentially making sure those triggers don't exist! 

For example: 

* getting out the house in the morning :  I now make NO plans first thing in the am. This will of course NOT work once Baby A starts school, but everyone will be older then, so I suspect it will go easier at that time. 

Now, we have Spiderman who has school in the afternoon... daddy takes Sissy to school... and Babies A and B and myself make NO early plans when we can avoid it. This alleviates the morning hustle and mommy freak outs ;) 

Now this theory obviously isn't going to work for everyone, especially our working mamas... but when we DO have something to do in the morning, I make sure I prepare everything I will need ahead of time. Lunches, diaper bags, laundry, clothes out; all that is done the night before. 

* boredom: kids get bored and whiny + infant = mommy loses her $h*t ;) 

Here in Maine the weather is finally getting nicer and we are finally escaping hibernation- thank God! Now, I make more of an effort to eliminate boredom. After breakfast, baby B goes in for a nap around 9:30 or 10am- so then the rest of us do yoga (on demand or a DVD at home) or color until we go outside around 11:30am.  

I just need to keep my mind on finding ways to remain relaxed during a normal day.

While well meaning friends and family always tell me, "take some time for yourself!" "go for a walk" or just "take a nice bubble bath"... 

* my fellow NNM mamas know that a SAHM with a husband that works sometimes 7 days a week- there is no "time for yourself". 

* If I go for a walk, it's with all the kids- and honestly- it's usually NOT fun at all. The two older kids are bickering, Baby A is complaining that she's in a stroller and not walking, and Baby B gets bored after about 5 minutes whether she's being worn or in a stroller. 

NOT relaxing. Usually results in yelling ;) 

* and I can't even PEE by myself, how am I going to take a bath>??!!!! 

Regardless, getting outside means a more relaxed and less-likely-to-yell mama. 

How are YOU doing with your Orange Rhino Challenge? Have you JOINED the challenge yet? JOIN ME!

My Kids Have Celiac, Now what?!

So it's official, all the tests for Babies A and B have come back and they both have Celiac Disease. 

We are still new to our gluten free journey so we are sharing our findings with you in our new Adventures in Gluten Free Series . We have started to make many of the accommodations per the Doctors request, like a separate toaster to prevent cross contamination of foods since Hubby and Sissy are still NOT gluten free. 

this toaster was only $16 at WalMart- so changes do NOT need to be expensive!

So here's some menu item updates that you may want to add to your repertoire: 

* We are obsessed with Pamela's Baking and Pancake Mix 

blueberry pancakes. recipe on back of bag of Pamela's Mix. I just add whatever fresh berries I have on hand!

We have used it to make pancakes, muffins, scones, coffee cake and biscuits. All have been DELICIOUS. 


* We have connected with different companies via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest; and we scored THIS gem Sunday from Udi's Gluten Free Foods.  

 

picture from HERE

 I made our meatballs out of ground beef, salt and pepper, chopped spinach, 1 egg, shredded Parmesan, a few tablespoons of soy flour to make them easier to form.

I have NEVER claimed to be a food photographer ;)

*  Another night we tried THIS recipe I found on Pinterest, but the zucchini at our grocer that day did not look that great, so we substituted summer squash. Still came out good and all the kids ate it! <3 

And if you're wondering why I always have tinfoil under my food lol, it's because it was another method the Dr recc for avoiding cross contamination with NON GF items ;) 

And we have always enjoyed fruits and veggies regularly, so being GF has clearly not changed the girls snacking habits much : 

blackberries right out of the carton. Yep, that's about right ;)

yep, the blackberries that day were a hit! <3

Enjoy!

What is your favorite ALLERGY FRIENDLY website or FB page?

Adventures in Gluten Free series: Part One

Since our journey into the world of Celiac disease and eating gluten free, we have had to make some (albeit not too significant changes) to our diet. I would say our diet itself has not changed dramatically, but paying attention to cross contamination is what we find most challenging thus far. I'm assuming (and also hoping) this gets easier with time and more knowledge! 

from www.piecesofamom.com

So, here are our faves so far in the categories of products and recipes. As we continue with this series, I will post more pictures (although admittedly I am NOT a food photographer ;)) and more complete recipes HERE for easy access. 

My hope with this series is that others with allergies or Celiac disease will benefit from the products and recipes here to feed their families gluten free, and on a budget <3 

Top 5 Necessity Products for our family of 6: 

1. fruit of all kinds, we are trying to stick more now than ever, with what is in season as to add some variety to our menu!
2. veggies. frozen are cheaper and contain the same, sometimes even better, nutrients. The only fresh we stick to are arugula for salads and baby carrots- a kiddo fave <3 and then whatever I might need for a particular recipe, of course!
3. meat. we buy organic when we can- cage free, grass-fed all that stuff. but sometimes, it's just not economical and Gluten Free can be expensive. So we are not below taking advantage of the managers' special!
4. Pamela's Products Baking and Pancake mix: we make everything with this! Pancakes, scones, coffee cake, biscuits- you name it! and it all has been DELISH <3
5.  Annie's microwavable Mac n Cheese (yes, we have 3 under 5, this is a necessity ;))

Top 5 DELISH treats or premade wonders we have discovered thus far: 

1. Larabar, preferably the choc chip cookie dough which is a house FAVE
2. cooksimple dinners made easy!
3. Visalus shakes adult and kid friendly, FULL of protein and nutrients, DELISH, easy and GF!
4. Trader Joe's Gone Bananas- dark chocolate covered banana slices FROZEN
5. Cabot Greek Vanilla Bean yogurt

Top 5 recipes I have made so far that the WHOLE family has liked! 

1. Garlic & Feta Baked Shrimp  OMG YUM is all I can say! 
2. Polenta Lasagna : I modified this recipe a bit though, and used ready made polenta and just made a "standard lasagna" replacing the noodles for "disks" of polenta. I used marinara sauce, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, and arugula within my layers and it was delish! a bit watery, and I'm not sure why still, but next time I'll try less sauce. (we served this at a dinner party with other non-GF ers and everyone loved it!) 
3. Lemon & Thyme mushrooms, I served ours over polenta and cooked spinach
4. Caprese quiche: I just made a crust less quiche with 8 eggs, a splash of milk, goat cheese, basil, and 1 tomato. YUMMO breakfast/brunch idea and everyone had seconds for dinner with my stand-by sausage in the crock pot (pkg of mild Italian sausage in marinara sauce. place in crock pot on low for 6- 8 hrs)  mmmmmm....
5. Parmesan Baked Tomatoes  make an incredible side dish or quick lunch!  


 Now, share your FAVORITE recipes, sites, blogs, PINS, anything GF here! Then go and get cooking!! :) 

What makes you interested in GF cooking/foods? Are you gluten intolerant, trying to lose weight, have Celiac Disease???? Other reasons???? 

and What would you like to get out of our Adventures in Gluten Free Series?