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Monday, July 25, 2011

Mama, Are Ghosts Real? Welllll.....

I'm assuming my kid is like everyone else's, in that the questions keep coming. Some of which are normal, some bizarre, and some you wonder HOW they ever even thought of such things! But what about the questions where you feel like there is answer you should say, based on your own parenting experiences/books/advice from others, etc. but you find yourself saying something totally different.... and how do you make such responses age appropriate?

Several such experiences have happened recently, let me explain;

1. History: One of my little Spiderman's dogs passed away at his dad's house.
   Question: Mama, Nina lives in the sky now and I will never see her again.

So how do you respond??

Here's how our conversation ensued;

Mama; Well, that's not true exactly. When you die you go to Heaven, and you will see her again when you go to Heaven.

Spiderman: When will I go to Heaven?

Mama: Hopefully not for a long, long time.

Spiderman: If I went to Heaven, you would never see me again.

Mama: Well, I would see you when I went to Heaven. But hopefully you won't go to Heaven for a long, long time. Most people that go to Heaven are old.

Spiderman: Old like what?

Mama: Old like..... umm... dinosaurs.

Spiderman: Dinosaurs aren't people.

Mama: Ok, good point. Ummmm, old like.....

Spiderman: Old like Grampa (referring to my 60 year old father LOL) ??  :)

Ahhhh, gotta love 4 year olds!

Ok, next topic. Similar, although on a totally separate day.

2. History: Spiderman watches some cartoons that involve superheroes and other "bad guys" and other crazy, imaginary figures.
   Question: Mama, are ghosts real?

What would you say?

The voice inside me said "just say no. Simple. Conversation done. This is what you have been told a million times. "

Here is how the conversation ensued;

Mama: Well, some ghosts are real.

Spiderman: Why?

Mama: Because sometimes, before people go to Heaven, they still live on Earth for a while, but only some people can see them.

Spiderman: Are they good guys or bad guys?

Mama: Every ghost is different, you need to ask them if they're nice or not- just like you would when you met a new friend.

Spiderman: So it's ok that some of my friends are ghosts?

Mama: (hmmm, truth or imagination? Not sure, but just gonna go with it...) Yes.

Spiderman: Ok, cool. Thanks mom.

LOL! Again, out of the mouth of babes!

How do YOU handle the tricky questions?? And what are some of the tricky questions you've encountered?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Almost like a Sunday Surf, but on Wednesday!

So given my pure LACK of blogging lately, I have had more time to keep up with other blogs, and have discovered some fabulous posts by Backwoods Mom that I wanted to share! My teenage stepdaughter is now living with us full time, and so the teen posts have been keeping me busy!

my gorgeous stepdaughter <3
 20 Words of Wisdom to my Teens

1.        Yes, your freshman year counts towards your GPA for college entrance.  Screw it up and you’ll work for crap wages your whole life.

2.        No means NO.  In every possible circumstance. 

3.        Join every sport, every club, every after school activity no matter what the cost.  It's cheaper than bail.

4.        Repeat after me: I am never in that much of a hurry…I am never in that much of a hurry.   Now say that every time you get behind the wheel. It will save your life and that of your best friend in the seat next to you.

5.        Don’t smoke pot.  It ruins your
short term memory. (Did I already say that?)

6.        Don’t ever get a credit card.  Ever.  You earn it or you live without it.

7.        If I yell at you, it’s because I love you.  And also, because you pissed me off.    To avoid the latter, stop being an idiot.

8.        Make a vivid picture inside your head of every great moment of your childhood.   You’ll need those to get through adulthood.

9.        Make snow angels as often as possible.

10.      Stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.

11.      Be always benevolent.  Yes, that’s a word.  Look it up.

12.      Call me for a ride even if you are so drunk you barely know my number.  I’ll probably be mad for a while but I’ll respect you for calling and I won’t kill you.  Riding with someone who is drinking will.

13.      Be a leader, not a follower. Unless you are doing stupid things, then follow the kid with the highest GPA.

14.      Love your siblings, even when you don’t like them.  Some day you will be trying to get them to take care of me in my old age.  If they are mad at you, you are stuck with me.

15.      I’ve been there, done that on more things than you can imagine.  I’m not stupid and I know what you are doing.  I was once you (times ten).

16.      Work hard at everything you do.  Anything worth doing is worth being the best   at.

17.      Cover it.  (Enough said.)

18.      When I tell you to clean your room, do not point at my messy room and raise    your eyebrows.  I’m trying to raise you to be better than me.

19.      Learn to type; to budget; and to pray.  All are equally important.

20.      Never be sedentary.  Some day soon you will no longer be able to move like that.  Enjoy it.

Children Will Remember
As parents, we spend our lives trying to be good enough.  Trying to keep up.  We worry that we’ve failed.  We worry that we’ve screwed up our kids to the point of no return because somehow we’ve not been good enough…as parents.  But let me explain something.

Our children will not remember their childhood the way we think they will.

They won’t remember if your hair was doing that ‘woohoo’ thing at their Christmas concert.  They will remember that when they entered the gym, their eyes scanned the bleachers and locked with yours.

They won’t notice if they found their cereal bowl in the cupboard or in the dishwasher or even if they had to wash it themselves once in a while.  They will remember that on Sundays, you made happy face pancakes.

They won’t have a clue that one Christmas you were flat broke and they got fewer toys.  They will remember that you made them a quilt out of old t-shirts and they will use it to swaddle their own children.

They will not remember that you cleaned and scrubbed while they were playing outside.  They will remember that once you knelt in the dirt pile and vroomed Hotwheels with them all afternoon.

They will not see the holes in their jeans, care about mismatched socks, or remember what brand of purse you carried.  They will remember the smell of daddy’s t-shirt he let them wear to bed...long after he's gone.

They won’t remember going to the theater with friends.  They will remember being pressed against your thigh on the couch, watching a movie, one hand in the popcorn bowl.

They won't remember that you didn't hike as fast as they did.  They will remember that you climbed to the top of the steepest mountain, just to show them the view. 

They will never recall the smell of the fancy dinners you prepared on the holidays.  They will remember  every single hotdog they cooked over an open fire and the way you knew they didn’t like mustard.

They won’t care if their bed was never made or that the blanket didn’t match their curtains.  They will remember the way it felt when you tucked the blankets around them and called them a burrito baby.

They will not care what you looked like in a swim suit.  They will remember that you went on the field trip to the pool anyway and were the one parent who didn’t sit to the side and watch.

They will not have lifelong damage from mud overdose.  They will remember the way the ooze felt between their toes and the look on your face when you found them…and joined in.

SO step away from the dishes.  Leave that pile of laundry on the couch, forget about homework once in a while.  Unclench your jaw and relax.  That’s what I’m going to try to do.

Because when I am old and I am gray, and I cannot do the things that I can do today…my children will not remember that my dishes were foul.  My children will remember that I could run…I could whoop…and I could howl.
* Be sure to check out Backwoods Mom  on her blog, and also on Facebook

Monday, July 18, 2011

It seems like Forever....

So wow, it has been FAR too long since I have hit these keys for anything besides a quick Facebook surf! There has been a lot of family "stuff" going on as of late and I want to first, apologize for my absolute absence on the mommy-blog-scene. I have, however, been very busy on the mama-scene with my three kids!

Having said that, I hope to get back to blogging sooooon! Everything is starting to normalize so I should have my in between nap time and night times back to type away!! :)

Baby A during a cupcake hangover at her cousin's birthday party <3

baby A & hubby opening some of HER presents during her 1st Birthday party!

My Little Spiderman at his 4th Birthday Party!  Theme? Spiderman, obvi :)

Big sister and her friend at the little kid party! Clearly enjoying themselves! :)

Here are some other great reads to keep you occupied in the meantime, and if you haven't yet, be sure to check out the amazing contributions from our RealMama Week a few weeks back! Hope you're all doing well!

Need to reuse your recalled crib? Check out these great ideas;
Repurposing the Recalled Crib by Consignment Mommies

This is a great, religious twist on attachment parenting; what I like about the blog is that she makes realistic connections, it's a great read!
Attachment Parenting- A Christian Perspective by Hippie Housewife

My husband & I are a great couple. We actually communicate quite well, and although we undoubtedly participate in an argument or two, we love each other and our little family. We do NOT, however, agree on parenting....

We agree on the grand scheme, which is what makes this all work. We both want the best for all of our kids, we want them to grow up to be happy, social, confident, well adjusted, confident, and emotionally expressive teens/adults. Getting there can be difficult since our styles are sooo different! I read this next post almost daily now, to remind myself that there are inherent strengths in each of our differences :)

Just not on the Same Page, by Becoming Crunchy

Fill me in on your favorite reads, online or otherwise, so I can catch up on what I've missed during my little hiatus. Thank you!!