Ignorance is NO excuse for Booby-trapping Moms!

Breast is best. 

Regardless of diet. 

Formula is not "bad", and just as we at NNM welcome and support formula feeding moms (we nurse and bottle feed here)

But SCIENCE supports that breastmilk is the best food for our babies. 

This is why starving and malnourished moms in third world countries still breastfeed...

this is why WIC promotes breastfeeding to low income families... 

You can easily Google images and stories for ; 

tribal breastfeeding

NICU breastfeeding

breastfeeding miracles

breastfeeding during the depression

Breastfeeding has (obviously) been around since the beginning of time, regardless of changes in diet as the times have changed. 

Here are some SCIENTIFIC articles to familiarize yourself with before listening to the booby traps (like we don't have enough already, right?) by the healthy home economist

* African American Women and Breastfeeding Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies Health Policy Institute (2007):  

The Courage to Love: Infant Mortality Commission Implications for Care, Research, and Public Policy to Reduce Infant Mortality Rates

* International Breastfeeding Journal 

* Journal of Allied Health Sciences & Practice

You can also check out : 

Best for Babes

La Leche League

and some of my personal faves: 

Kelly Mom 

and

The Leaky B@@b

Do NOT use resources like TheStir, or CafeMom for true, reliable breastfeeding advice. Hope this helps you to come to your OWN conclusion on what is best for your family <3 

Much love, 

Theresa, NNM 

My Experience with Postpartum Depression, and My Plea to You

I figured since I haven't done a particularly informative post in a while, it was time to do one. I have several friends having babies and that are currently pregnant, so I thought now might be a poignant time to share about topic that has historically been swept under the rug. Postpartum depression.

from Google

Not all women who suffer from PPD are having suicidal thoughts, or feeling as though they want to hurt their babies. It is my opinion that this is how the description comes across from medical professionals and anyone with lesser symptoms can have the unfortunate result of being brushed off as merely sleep deprived, or adjusting to a newborn.

Women caring for their first born are particularly vulnerable as they have nothing to compare their feelings to. Life with a newborn IS hard. Trying to adjust to finding your own new definition and role as a mother, adjusting your relationship with your partner or spouse, and finding time for daily necessities like taking the dog out, doing groceries, or even showering all become a delicate balance.

me with baby Spiderman on his 1st day home after 7 days in the NICU

My own experience with PPD was a sneaky one. I, like many others, chalked my feelings up to sleep deprivation and a failing relationship with my then-boyfriend. Spiderman had some initial complications,
and so it was my assumption that those, in conjunction with regular adjustment, and financial struggles had led to my feelings of complete (as in true, pure) exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed.

Almost a year after Spiderman's birth, I finally sought help and was officially diagnosed with PPD by a therapist. That began a probably additional six month recovery period, during which time I experienced the ultimate demise of my relationship with Spidermans' dad, and then began my journey as a single mom.

Move ahead several years to the pregnancy and birth of Baby A: Now knowing what postpartum recovery was like, I began preparations for PPD about 7 months into my pregnancy. My OB/GYN started me on some medication so that it would have time to "get into my system" by the time Baby A was born.

I also prepped by taking appropriate time off from work, which I had not done with Spiderman. I made arrangements for help at home, stocked the freezer with frozen Amy's meals and the pantry with easy to grab bottled water and Odwalla bars. This time, I also had the blessing of the all time greatest PPD preventative: a supportive husband <3

baby A's birthday!

We made a plan for care and support at home, we lined up my therapist and lactation consultant, and made additional post natal appointments with my OB/GYN and the visiting nurse.

Despite the preparation, I still suffered from PPD. The feelings of being completely (I'm talking utterly, totally, completely) overwhelmed were rampant, I felt as though I couldn't take care of myself, what little energy I had was focused at my colicky infant (so much for preparation!) and my now 3 year old!

Add to the colic and PPD recovery from a C section, an ongoing custody dispute, and a near failure to thrive diagnosis... and I was a mess! [One of these days, I'll post Baby A's full birth story] However, my preparedness did not go to waste. In fact, it was what saved me! I had the full support of my fabulous hubby, family, and friends. I did my best to remain hydrated and the frozen meals and protein bars were my savior! (along with coffee... lots and lots of coffee) :)



I did my best to NOT try and be supermom. For weeks I did nothing but stay inside and do nothing but snuggle, nurse, soothe and repeat. We spent time just myself, her and Spiderman watching movies, reading stories, and sitting on our front lawn with new library books chillin by the sandbox and the kiddie pool. I had family take Spiderman off to the park or the beach while we attended our multitude of appointments to the lactation department, pediatrician, OB/GYN, chiropractor, and local WIC office.

Baby A and Spiderman, still at the hospital 

jaundiced baby A and her auntie Amber, out with mommy on a trip to Target to get some nursing essentials ;)

baby A and tired hubby <3

One of my all time favorite posts about postpartum recovery is THIS one from The Leaky Boob.


Several months after Baby A's birth we had our miscarriage. As with any miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal loss; we suffered emotionally. I felt like I had done something wrong, like it was my fault. Thankfully, I was still on a low dose of anti depressants and still seeing my therapist, and I had begun attending church shortly before that, and found solace there and ironically online; particularly via Unspoken Grief.

In October of 2011, just 3 months after Baby A turned 1 year old, we found out we were pregnant with Baby B <3 She was a bit of a surprise ;) so I was still on a higher dose of medication from the miscarriage. Consulting with my OB/GYN, PCP, and therapist it was decided I should remain on the medication and just wean down to the lowest effective dose during the pregnancy.

We prepped a bit differently for the birth of Baby B, as she was to be a VBA2C, but nonetheless we prepped for her birth... and the ensuing PPD.

Baby B is now 7 months old, and I have to say this postpartum period has been my "happiest". I would venture to even say I'm not sure I even "have" PPD this time. My anxiety has been heightened for sure, now a complete SAHM of 4 kids; I now suffer from insomnia and am inevitably irritable. Besides that however, I would say I have "adjusted" far better this time around.  Despite her immune deficiency and low weight, baby B is a happy girl, which makes ME a happy mama!

Baby B

Call it experience.
Call it divine intervention.
Call it what you will, but here is my plea to you...

My plea to all "new" moms... that means YOU.. that means YOU with the brand new 1st born, that means YOU that has only angel babies, that means YOU that just gave birth to baby # 5....

* take care of yourself, you just had a baby
     this means eat food, drink water, sleep/nap, and SIT DOWN. 
* sleep in the knowledge and peace that your baby is with God, or nap when your baby naps
     laundry can wait 
     dishes can wait 
     do NOT plan to COOK meals. buy some nice, less preservative ridden frozen varieties or have friends and family bring you food ;) 
    make things easy to grab so you can eat or hydrate while you nurse or bottle nurse 
 * baby wear. NO LIE, it makes all the difference for BOTH mom and baby. You are hands free and still snuggling, and baby is SO. much. calmer. 
* shower, you will feel amazing ;) 

* FIND SUPPORT. 
     the old addage: "It takes a village to raise a child" is TRUE. If you don't have a supportive or present spouse/partner and your family is too far away and your friends are too busy... find a mom's group- every hospital has one. Find a church if you don't already have one- you'll be glad you did. Try a few if you're not sure what you're looking for. 

    many communities also offer free or drop in mommy-and-me yoga classes, which can be a great networking opportunity that will also improve your health! <3 

     you can find support online as well, and many give you links or contacts to local support groups. Some of my favorites are; 

The Leaky Boob 

Attachment Parenting International  

Purejoy Parenting 

Thriving Family  

Gentle Parenting Resources 

MOPS International  

* take as much time as you can to SIT, NURSE, ENJOY. It goes by too fast. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it does. I assure you. 

______________

What has your experience in birthing and postpartum recovery been?? What resources have you found that have helped you the most and might help other moms? 

_____________

IF YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM PPD, OR THINK YOU'RE SUFFERING FROM PPD, AND FEEL SUICIDAL OR FEEL AS THOUGH YOU CAN NO LONGER TAKE CARE OF, OR MIGHT HARM YOUR CHILD(REN), PLEASE 

CALL 911

or 

SEE JENNY'S LIGHT FOR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE.  

Sunday Surf: RealMama Week Wrap Up

RealMama Wrap Up 

We had so many great contributors this week, and a huge thank you goes out to all of them. A diverse group of topics, which I hope provided some helpful info to all of our RealMamas :) 

My inspirational 'RealMama'; Jessica, creator of The Leaky B@@b and her youngest nursling

In the Arms of Motherhood was a tear-jerking post about the authors view on being a mama. The genuine intent with which is was written just warms my heart, and of course, her personal struggles are heartbreaking! 

What I loved most about the post is the simple, seemingly common-sense approach to mothering; that we treat our children like we would teach guests. Our brains so often perpetuate stories about what one minute behavior might perpetuate for future behaviors, that we lose sight of the moment with our children. This type of parenting/behavior is also described in detail in the piece titled My Agenda  (Day 6), by Purejoy Parenting. 

 

Knosts' and Potters' descriptions of meeting our children where they are at, emotionally and intellectually, is SO important for helping to solidify the attachment between parent and child, but for greatly decreasing the anxiety that can accompany parenthood. Much of the anxiety we feel comes from worrying about our child's behavior in the moment (out in public, etc.), and/or considering what said behavior might mean in relation to future behaviors (if I let this go, he's never going to understand what it means to be responsible, etc.).  Our Day 3 post, Mothering Me, by Leslie Potter from Purejoy Parenting reiterated these sentiments, and also describes her own personal struggle into motherhood. 

LR Knost and her son, from Little Hearts Books (Gentle Parenting Resources), contributor for Day 1 of RealMama Week

Leslie Potter, from Purejoy Parenting (contributor for Day 3 and Day 6 of RealMama week)

When I originally started this project of RealMama week, I wanted "authentic pieces describing how YOU view motherhood/parenthood/being a mama, etc". And I would say, piggybacking off Day 1 and Day 3 posts (above), our Day 4 post Living Mindfully was probably my favorite! 

Spiritual Momma, contributor for Day 4 of RealMama week

Her wisdom-list that she hopes to pass on to her children, is now smeared all over an index card in big, black Sharpie on the entryway between our room and the kids room. I love her description of not sweating the small things; clearly when you have been through traumatic/trying/difficult times in your life, the "small" things can seem really insignificant. I find myself all to often (which I try on a daily basis to correct) saying things like "don't do that because you'll get hurt", or "don't do this because x will happen"; and basing parenting 'rules' on fear is never the way to go!

As Spiritual Momma describes, skinned knees will happen, your kids will fall and get bruises, and sometimes they will "fall" with emotional pain: 

Our job is not to STOP these things from happening, but to give our child(ren) the tools to cushion their falls.  Teaching them to trust their instincts, believing in themselves, living in the moment, and dreaming BIG; are all tools for them that they can use for the rest of their lives. 

Obviously, as parents, we do need to keep our child(ren) safe from harm. But as they get older, it gets harder and harder to keep them in the loving bubble that is our arms (or our chosen babywearing device :)). In an age appropriate way, I believe it is of the utmost importance to not shelter our children, but provide them with emotional and intellectual TOOLS; so that they may one day be active, participatory, loving, and  kind members of society.

homemade black bean burgers provided by The Economical Eater, contributor for Day 2 of RealMama week

Switching gears a bit, Cheap Eats was a post by The Economical Eater sharing some fabulous, delicious, and nutritious pantry staples and accompanying weeknight (or any-night) meals for all of us RealMamas! Almost all the pantry staples, which included black beans, eggs, frozen vegetables, and chickpeas; are all items offered as part of your local WIC program. And don't be stingy- feed the SAME thing to your kiddos! Check out more info on how I view baby food You Want Me to Eat What?! (my guest post via Instinctual Mamas).

One of our NNM readers provided her incredible Birth Story as our Day 5 post for RealMama week. Amanda  describes the blur that was her unexpected C Section delivery and the following few days of visitors, adjusting the motherhood, and the transition from hospital to home. Her story has a delightful ending of a great mama & baby relationship, an EBF baby, and a happy healthy now 4 month old! <3

I love hearing birth stories, mostly because my first was so horrible, that I can live vicariously through others when I hear about their births! I really can't complain in that, in the end, I ended up with a happy, healthy, and wonderful now almost 4 year old! <3 But his start was FAR from what I expected. 

Here's my question to you, at the birth(s) of your child(ren), did you have that moment of pure, elated joy that so many women describe? How would you describe your feeling(s) during birth? 

 I hope you enjoyed RealMama week as much as I did, and look forward to another RealMama week coming SOON! 

Send entries anytime to mymackey@gmail.com and put RealMama in the subject line. Be sure to include a short bio, and attach any personal photos if you would like them included in your post.

 

Nurturing the Nurturer

Just thought this was SO fitting for this blog :) Thank you to The Leaky B@@b for writing it! :)

Check out 22 Ways to Nurture the Nurturer

Fill me in on your favorite Leaky B@@b post!