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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Purejoy Parenting

As an avid surfer of the Facebook News Feed, it did not take long for me to absolutely fall in love with Leslie Potter from Purejoy Parenting. Her constant positive, uplifting, and informative posts make her a page I check daily (if not hourly) for new information!

When I recently saw the opportunity to take one of her parenting courses for FREE, I immediately jumped at the chance! The opportunity also could not have presented itself to me at a better time; I had just been asked the night before (no lie) by my therapist, "do you find joy, like true joy, in parenting?" and at the time, I didn't have a good answer...

I love my kids, don't get me wrong, I would do anything for them. But do I find JOY in parenting? Hmmmm, that's a difficult question for me. I find moments of joy. But my moments of joy are often overrun by chaos, stress, anxiety, and the day to day humdrum of mommyhood.

So who better than to teach me how to find joy in parenting, than PUREJOY parenting?! :)

baby A, me, and my little Spiderman

me and my itty-bitty Spiderman :)

my little Spiderman last year indulging in FunDip

baby A and mommy at the park

my beautiful stepdaughter, baby A, mommy, and Spiderman on a walk w daddy

my incredible kiddos <3

baby A, mommy, and daddy hiking last month
So over the next few weeks, I will update you on some of the applications we discuss over the call. I cannot reiterate enough how strongly I would recommend you take one of her courses! Be sure to find her and 'like' her on Facebook, and check out her website for upcoming course info!

Foundation #1 : Separation from a loving connection causes contrast and expansion in our relationships. 
 Who am I as a parent? 

How do you differ from the parent you thought you'd be? What behaviors/attitudes/reactions do you think you could change, so that you might be MORE like the parent you thought you'd be? 

Questions like these force you to look inside yourself at what behaviors and reactions are caused by the "stories" we create in our minds.  Many times, we place far too much emphasis on what we think a specific behavior might perpetuate, versus living in the present to deal with the issue (often times far more miniscule than we may inititally believe) at hand. 

For example; 

* my child makes me late in the morning, especially on those days when I have an early appointment/meeting and am in a rush. S/he dilly-dally's and makes me late on purpose!

* "story" that your mind likely creates: your child is doing this behavior to annoy you because they do not want you to be on time. If you do not force them to hurry along, then they will not only make you late today, but will never learn to get themselves ready in the morning in a reasonable amount of time. (etc, etc...)

* reality: your stress about getting out the door on time is creating anxiety for the child. You could use this opportunity to slow down and connect with your child. Being mindful of the present is very important- mention what you LOVE about that particular moment (in this example it might be something like, " I love that you are able to get ready for the day in the morning while remaining calm and relaxed, I wish I could do that!") 
But be sure also to use the opportunity to connect with them and teach them about how you are also feeling, (ex/ "This morning, mommy is feeling a bit rushed because I have to be at a meeting at 8am, and it is important to be on time when you have committed to something"). 

Looking at examples like this one, and working through various other scenarios, really forces you to look at your own reactions to different everyday behaviors, and how by changing the "story" in your mind to what is truly going on in THAT moment, you can use those moments to connect with your child(ren). 

* Morning Mantra * 

As I awaken, I love myself as a mama. This is a new day and I smile knowing each day is a new beginning. I embrace each of my children for who they are and all they will bring me this day, both challenges and joys. 

...stay tuned for week #2.... 

 Do you have a morning mantra? If not, how do you think your outlook might change if you added one to your morning routine?

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