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Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Mixed Bag for a Tired Mind :)

As I sit here with all the "ideas" I have for various upcoming blogs, and wondering which one to start with... the pressing issues swirling around my brain are those of inspiration and motivation. As a family we have so much going on right now, and so I thought- doesn't everyone feel the same way? This is clearly a relateable topic, and warrants sharing :)

I need to get motivated. I need to lose weight. (I know, I know... 9 months on, 9 months off... but that means I only have 3 more months! ) Inherently, I need to get motivated to eat better and exercise, and I need to walk the dog. Ugh...

I'm also starting work again next week- this means I need to get my $*&! together enough to get out of the house early, get the kids to school (daycare), and get my @$$ to work! As with any working mom, this does not mean that my household duties suddenly cease. I need to make sure I remain motivated and organized enough to keep up with the laundry, the cleaning, the dog, the groceries, etc. so that my husband can continue to work his two jobs and actually have something to eat and some clean work clothes! Wow!

I have been home with my kids for almost 7 months, a first for my toddler since I have always had to work to support us, and now baby A will have her first run at spending time during the day with someone other than me. As with any mom, this is bittersweet. 

Please share your comments on how you keep it all together!

Everyone has someone or something that inspires them. For me, it's several people really. I have an amazing sister and brother who are far better at following their dreams than I. My sister, Michelle Collins, is a food blogger and freelance writer extraordinaire and my brother, Tim Collins, is the lead singer for the band The Sea Captains.

I also have a bestie who is one of the best parents I know, and I strive to be as amazing a mother as she is, though I'm not sure I'll ever quite make it :) But most of all, it is my husband.

I know, sappy right? But let's be honest. I am not the greatest at relationships. Post divorce, and then break up with horrendous custody battle under my belt, who am I to think I could get this one right? Somehow I did. 

And I get it, everyone says this about their own husband, but he is truly my best friend. Clearly what is needed in a marriage. Additionally, call it age... call it maturity... call it sick of the bull$&*!.. but we're both completely and utterly aware that a marriage requires work, nourishment, and nurturing.

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Committed, describes marriage at one point in her book as "...still negotiating, still recalibrating, still working after all these years to find the correct distance between autonomy and cooperation- seeking a subtle and elusive balance that will somehow keep this strange plot of intimacy growing. They compromise a lot in the process, sometimes compromising away precious time and energy that they might have preferred to spend doing different things, separate things, if only the other person wasn't in the way..." She goes on to describe though how it is that experience, that finding balance, accompanied by the daily numbness and mindlessness that comes with cohabitation, that is what MAKES you.

Sound boring? It shouldn't be. And that 'honeymoon phase' everyone always talks about? It shouldn't EVER end!! Yes, there will be days where it gets overcast by cranky kids, or finances, or family baggage.. but in my world, everyday starts and ends with a kiss. Everyday starts and ends with the seemingly mundane, but all important 'have a great day'/ 'how was your day'. We connect. Everyday. 

 It is this dance of balance and compromise, mixed with the nourishment of intimacy (and get your mind out of the gutter people! :)  this can be as simple as making a date to cuddle on the couch and watch television while the kids are asleep), mixed with open communication and daily nurturing that makes the recipe for our 'perfect' marriage. 

His efforts for our family inspire me! His efforts encourage me to be my best for our family.

Since I'm sure this is enough sap for your Thursday night :) , fill me in on how you support/nurture/nourish your marriage or relationship?

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