#TBT ~ Advent Begins December 1st - Make It a Family Celebration, and Not Just Counting Down Chocolates...

#ThrowbackThursday to what we did last year for Advent, and will repeat this year with a twist- WATCH for my Advent 2013 post Coming Soon.... <3 

Advent 2012

This year our family is working on strengthening our relationships with each other, and with God and our church. Having historically been what I would describe as more "spiritual" than religious in the past, I am learning a long with my kids, the story of the Bible and the birth of Jesus.

We have decided to celebrate Advent this year DIY style :)

It cost only 99 cents for the bags. Much cheaper than the traditional cardboard or chocolate laden advent calendars from the store.

I modified this idea from something I saw on Pinterest.

I filled each bag with a line from, essentially, the Nativity story. Although also modified, for my 2 and 5 year olds ;)

of course we also added some treats!

they got prepped and HUNG today over ribbon with clothespins!

What are some different things, DIY or otherwise, you're trying this year??

Strong Marriages Beget Strong Families

Your Marriage Isn't About YOU: And other things I've learned the second time around....

Let's start at the beginning: I was married in 2005 to my high school sweetheart. We had been together by that time, going on 11 years.

We filed for divorce in 2006. 

I know, I know... Not much better than Britney Spears, right? 

So FAST FORWARD to 2009 when I marry my now husband, conveniently for purposes of the blog, called "hubby" ;) When we decided to get married, having both been divorced and both having children, we knew this had to be a calculated move. We decided to truly commit to one another, and to assist us in cementing this ideal, we wrote our own vows. 

Now, perhaps the words "truly commit" sound rather redundant when talking about marriage...

While I can only speak for myself (meaning I'm not sure Hubby would relate verbatim to what I'm going to express here): I am certain that the commitment is what was missing from my first marriage. And no fault of my ex husbands. We had been together so long that marriage was just the next step! I was 24 when we got engaged... dreaming about getting married... I couldn't wait to plan the wedding... and then just naively expected that everything else would be immediate and always happy. To break it down to its' simplest form: I was a selfish brat. I expected the hardest part of being married to be planning the wedding. Epic Fail.

I didn't know then what I know now: Marriage is work. Marriage is HARD work. MY marriage is NOT about ME. 

from www.unveiledwife.com

 It is work, just like parenting. But, just like parenting, it can be infinitely rewarding. In retrospect, I had spent too much time (even in the beginning of my current marriage) being a bit of a feminist. My emotional struggle with "giving in" and my holding onto own expectations were overwhelming my ability to be a good wife. 

Attempting to put all of this into words that make sense is proving harder than I thought! But sometime right before the birth of Baby B  ,I learned the term helpmeet and it changed my marriage;

It was learning the true meaning of this seemingly strange word that gave me the emotional permission to work for my marriage instead of expecting it to work for me. 

 I had spent so long working (emotionally) at not becoming someone's doormat, that I felt like if I had to work at my marriage, I was somehow "settling" or jeopardizing my womanhood. Enveloping the role of helpmeet has made me feel more like a wife than ever before! For someone who struggles with anxiety, feeling like a "good" wife in turn makes me feel like a better mom, I feel like I accomplish more during the day, I am more motivated, I am happier... it even makes me feel more, dare I say, sexy! Ok, ok, so I still have quite a few pounds to lose before I feel really sexy ;) But putting all the emotional energy that I was using toward "not being a doormat" and redirecting it toward showing unyielding appreciation, love, and affection to my husband has improved our marriage, and our family, dramatically.

Eve was not designed to be exactly like Adam. She was designed to be his mirror opposite, possessing the other half of the qualities, responsibilities, and attributes which he lacked. Just like Adam and Eve's sexual organs were physically mirror opposites (one being internal and the other external) so were their their divine stewardship designed to be opposite but fit together perfectly to create life. Eve was Adam's complete spiritual equal, endowed with a saving power that was opposite from his.

Opposite but still equal. In its simplest terms: He envelopes his role (in OUR family, at THIS time) as leader, husband, father and breadwinner; and I envelope my role (again, in OUR family at THIS time) as wife, mother, and caretaker. 

We are by no means suddenly time traveling back to the 1950's. We just make it a point daily to bring everything back to our commitment to each other. Whether we are blissful, tired, bickering, or barely speaking ;) we both are committed.  Since I know that we are both working towards the same goal as a team, I feel comfortable letting go. 

That's right. I relinquished the control ;) and my life hasn't been happier. He is our leader. Like the mature lion in a pride, we look to him for our next step, our daily affirmations, and of course, the money for our bills! <3 

  

I find ways to appreciate my husband daily regardless of the type of day we're having. I find the most inspiration from Unveiled Wife  and Happy Wives Club

And this is a two way street. I do not feel depleted in any way. All the energy I expend is returned. I am replenished daily by hubby's appreciation and commitment to me and our family.

Our Family Appreciation Night  has been a way for us to extend the same display of commitment and appreciation to each and every member of the family. We all share responsibility and we all share LOVE <3 

How have YOU shown your spouse/partner/kids that you appreciate them today?? 

Give a SHOUT OUT your favorite site for FAMILY or relationship inspiration below! 

RealMama Week: Cheap Eats does NOT mean low Quality :)

    RealMama Week, Day 2 

guest post provided by Michelle Collins from The Economical Eater

I eat, I cook, I write, I blog, I don't eat meat - and I have barely any money to spend on anything besides bills and student loans. Growing up in a family of six with a budget to stick to, I learned to appreciate good food enjoyed around a full table without spending a lot of money.

 Quick, Delicious, & Inexpensive Family Pantry MUST Haves for a Great Dinner EVERY Night of the Week:

Anyone who knows me knows that I am cheap. I pay attention to serving sizes strictly in order to not waste food/money, I have never left a room without turning a light off (only in order to keep my electric bill low), and I will wait to fill up my gas tank until my car is literally running on fumes. 

Michelle Collins, aka The Economical Eater

    When it comes to food, though, I am probably the cheapest – but it has been proven to me time and time again that affordable food does not have to mean low quality. Eating an affordable diet also does not mean you have to compromise variety or nutrition. Whether you live alone, have a family or a roommate, there are some essential items to have on hand at all times in order to make balanced, flavorful, simple meals throughout the week: 
 
* Black beans: I always have at least one can of black beans in my pantry at all times. A can of Stop & Shop’s organic black beans are $0.99, and I use them all the time in vegetarian tacos/burritos, scrambled eggs, and homemade black bean burgers.

Black bean burgers

Eggs: This might seem like a no-brainer, but eggs aren’t just for breakfast anymore. I love making egg sandwiches for a simple, protein-filled dinner, and I also enjoy hard boiling eggs to incorporate in salads throughout the week – or to make egg salad, which goes a very long way for how little it costs to put together at home.
 
Frozen vegetables: Frozen veggies provide an easy, affordable alternative to getting your daily dose of vegetables. They’re not only great to incorporate in a weeknight pasta dish, or for toppings on a homemade pizza, but they also provide a quick side dish to any meal – and a perfect accompinament to a weekend morning omelette. I love having spinach and peas on-hand especially, since they are so versatile. 
 
Chickpeas: Roasted chickpeas are incredibly easy to make, and make a delicious, healthy snack that keeps well in a sealed container. Making your own hummus is also a lot cheaper than buying it at the grocery store (chickpeas cost about $0.99 since, too), and if you like Indian food, a simple dinner of chickpeas, some frozen vegetables and a slew of spices (served with some warm Naan) is simple, inexpensive and satisfying. 
 
Quinoa: One box of quinoa goes a very long way. Quinoa is not only chock-full of protein, it is also extremely adaptable. For a tasty twist on a classic dish, try these quinoa "meat"balls, or make a simple summer dish of quinoa, crumbled feta cheese and grilled zucchini. 

Quinoa 'meat' balls

    Of course, there are many other affordable kitchen essentials that come in handy, but these are some of my favorites. It’s always great to know that with a few shortcuts – and just a few dollars – you and your family can eat well-balanced, nutritious meals every day of the week.

* NNM Note: Ironically, ALL of the items mentioned here in the post by Economical Eater are all ones provided by your local WIC office (well, minus the quinoa) :) 

* Find and 'Like' The Economical Eater on Facebook

* Follow The Economical Eater on Twitter 

* and keep up with all her great recipes and restaurant finds on her blog 

 What are some items/ingredients you always have in your kitchen? 

Making Family Time Special for Everyone

Tonight we held our 1st Family Appreciation Night   of 2013! We have a running notebook in the kitchen where family members can write ideas/comments/suggestions between FANs, and the little ones are asked about once a week if there is anything they want us to write down for them. The notebook is also there to remind everyone what we discussed at the last Night. 

from www.formulamom.com

It had been brought to our attention, by Spiderman, that we yell too much. (insert sheepish expression) As you all know I've written several times about how my one... ok, I'm sure I have more than one... but my primary vice is yelling. You can find some of my rants HERE and HERE. So, we fully unveiled the The Orange Rhino Challenge tonight! 365 Days of NO YELLING. 

from www.theorangerhino.com

* First, we have to track our yelling for 3- 4 days. I printed off the tracker example and actual tracker PDF HERE

 

* Then, I equipped all of us with age appropriate non-yelling responses/reactions. Hubby & I got the 100 Alternatives to Yelling, which will all be found in a jar and we can pick one every time we are on the verge of yelling. 

* Spiderman, Baby A, and Baby B (just for fun) all got their own rhinos. These are for them to squeeze if they are angry or upset, or to hold up if they feel someone else needs a respectful reminder. 

* ORANGE is our other reminder. There will be some orange rhino pics, like the one above, placed around the house to remind ALL Of us to be calm, present, and respectful at all times. 

Additionally, we strove to complete our 10 house rules, which will eventually become our Family Mission Statement . We added to our previous list and we so far have 6 of our 10. We will work on it until everyone feels satisfied: 

1. No yelling. 

2. Be respectful. 

3. No last minute plans or changes. 

4. Chores- we work as a team, everyone does their part. 

5. Listen to others. 

6. Hug everyday

Sissy & Spiderman last year, making Christmas cookies <3

Now some of you won't care to delve this far into our family life ;), but for those of you that want to institute a Family Appreciation Night of your own, the point of our FAN is to be FUN! Tonight was Valentine themed; so everyone got a little treat, we had hot cocoa with heart shaped marshmallows, and we made Valentines for each other. Everyone had their own printable (I just googled 'valentine printables'. easy and FREE) and had to write why they loved the other person. Each person did one for every member of the family. 

from Vday <3

made tonight, all together. and the mask is one example of the "treats" the kids got. We do NOT use candy. You could use whatever works best for your own family ;)

I think they had FUN! <3 

Then everyone had a section of this canvas, and I taped off LOVE. This is what we have so far, I will post the finished product tomorrow, once it's dry and I've had time to spruce it up with every one's name and a Sharpie!

this is the BEFORE. The AFTER I will post tomorrow when complete ;)

This will be hung above our family rules in the living room once they are complete <3 

We always try to enjoy some fun treats, so I totally forgot our new gluten free menu and grabbed a frozen organic pizza and the heart shaped marshmallows for the hot chocolate! 

The Last order of business was for our teenager, Sissy. That will be posted separately for those interested in the following post: iPhone vs the World. Enjoy! 

What do YOU do to make family moments special? Do YOU have a family mission statement? What helps you develop family bonds? Please share below, or via Twitter, Facebook , or Pinterest @mymackey. 

Riding the Momentum for 2013!

WOW! So much going on already in the short few weeks since we've entered the new year! Our Facebook wall is updated daily with deals, steals, and cool articles for you to enjoy!

You can also find NNM on Twitter, and Pinterest and Instagram @mymackey

Our next Family Appreciation Night is scheduled for next Friday, and I am introducing our next family challenge: The Orange Rhino

from The Orange Rhino on Facebook

Those of you that are regulars here at NNM know that my biggest weakness is yelling. I am forever striving to improve, and knock this bad habit. The Orange Rhino challenge sounds PERFECT! Plus, my 5 year old will have a grand old time holding me accountable!

I'm going to print out little orange rhinos and glue them to Popsicle sticks for the kids to hold up when I'm about to fall off the wagon ;)

Of course, our challenge will also apply to the kids! ;) (We have to be fair, after all!) and we will, in turn, continue our use of the angry box .

Also, Positive Parenting Solutions is offering a FREE Webinar on Getting Kids to Listen without Nagging or Yelling. Ummmm, count me IN! :) You can register with me HERE

HUBBY and I are making OUR relationship a priority too! 

I know, HOW with 4 kids and one income? Not expensive dates, that's for sure! :) We joined the #bibleinayear challenge with Rachel Wojo.

A few nights a week, we can sit together on the couch, dueling computers as usual ;) but at least read together, take turns sharing a book and reciting our favorite passages, and then every few weeks I ll blog about our experience!

We hope this will be the start of re centering as a couple and not just as parents, which is extremely important to us.

What are YOU working on so far for 2013? Or what would help you make the push to reach your goals?

My Little Spiderman & What Mothers Day Means to Me

I'm not joking when I say I live with Spiderman :)

And no, this was not Halloween. Just a normal night in my home :) 

Mother's Day 

I hope all my mamas enjoyed their Mother's Day. Mine was spent surrounded by family and friends, enjoying a few hours at the mall with my stepdaughter and hubby and BFF while my parents watched the kiddos, followed by a night by the fire with my parents and hubby, and ending with a delicious brunch put on by myself and my siblings! My sister, aka The Economical Eater, blogged about some of our fabulous food in her recent Mother's Day post- so be sure to check it out! (Plus, her Blackberry Ginger Muffins were amazing!) 

Anyways, we got to enjoy some much needed family time, and outdoor time- which can be hard to come by here in New England this time of year! So it was overall fabulous. 

my hubby working on the yard and clearing out the pool

my little Spiderman and baby A playing with his Batman Cave

still playing :)

our dog "helping" with the yard work :)

Spending time with your family is of the utmost importance any day of the week, and you should not need a special occasion or special day to remember to take those times and hold them close, cherish them. But especially when times are difficult, and parents are working, or just busy with the day to day chaos of raising children and providing for a family, we sometimes forget to pay attention, and savor the quiet moments of play time, or your spouse's hand resting on your shoulder in the car, or your dog sitting at your feet. These are the moments that make everyday, but especially Mother's Day, special. 

Happy Mother's Day! 

Welcome to EASTER at our house: a Spiritual Revelation :)

Spring is HERE, well it was for one day :) Luckily, that day was spent amidst friends and family at baby A's Christening and Easter brunch.

Originally, I had no interest in getting either of my children baptized/Christened... but at the pestering of both their fathers, eventually relented.  My little Spiderman was baptized at a Congregational Church, along with his cousin. The ceremony was great in that we picked all the readings and stayed away from the preachy- 'you are evil until I pour this water on your head' stuff.

And this time was no different. I procrastinated as long as possible (she is 9 months old now). Easter Sunday was approaching, and my husband (Roman Catholic) was wondering how I felt about having her ceremony the same day as family would already be in town. How could I refuse?

So a few weeks ago, I emailed the church I walk by almost everyday in our cute little downtown, in our cute little town which I have fallen madly in love with since we moved here about a year ago. The church front looks welcoming and traditional, and I also knew- it wasn't Catholic :)

Their website explains, "No matter who you are, or where you are on life’s journey, you are ALWAYS welcome here!"  So to me, that seemed perfect. I attended my first Sunday mass in almost 3 years on Palm Sunday, and low and behold.... I LOVED IT! 




The music, the community, the warmth, the love, and most of all, the hope.

Baby A's beautiful Christening/Easter dress, compliments of my MIL

baby A and hubby on our way to church

our church :)

It's official. I am one of "those" people. Those people that grew up with a severe aversion to formalized religion because of a science background that favored evolution, and because of that, refused to go to church. I figured they were all just as "preachy" as the ones I was forced to attend on Easter and Christmas in the early years of my childhood where I was told people that take the pill are Evil, and everyone is going to Hell, blah blah blah...

But after years of struggling, working, recent months of severe financial strain, and nurturing two children when sometimes I feel I have nothing left to give.... I have found something that helps me to replenish myself. That nurtures ME.


I might not believe in the Bible, per say (now, let's not start a religion riot here- this is all personal opinion) but I love love love the community feeling and the spirituality that comes with attending service.

Easter Sunday was no different- children singing, choir singing and dancing, brass instruments, conversation, and of course- salvation :) Aubrey's Christening was beautiful. There was no talk of her being evil.... nobody is going to Hell.... and her Godparents were there to take the Christening vows with us. The church was full of people in our own community who have vowed to help us raise her, an extension of our family, who all live far away.

It really does take a village to raise a child, and we now have our village. For that, I am very thankful :)

I am also thankful, of course, for our wonderful family. Our family that was able to share in our special day, and enjoy a delicious pot luck brunch (very cost effective way to do a gathering I might add), and we had beautiful weather to boot!

Here are some more photos of our amazing day:

How did you spend your Easter Sunday?