Kids need to know it's ok to make mistakes. They need to know how to handle mistakes. They need to SEE in order to EMULATE how to handle everyday struggles with balance and patience and yes, mistakes.
The theory is that the "better" parents, LEARN from their mistakes, and thus their children and they themselves grow as a result.
Our family has "rules" that all the members (children AND adults) must follow. But our rules do NOT include:
you MUST share
you MUST say please and thank you
you MUST clean your plate
you MUST eat your vegetables
Instead, our "rules" include:
-you MUST speak to each other with respect
-you SHOULD share, knowing that there will be a time when you want to use the others toys as well
-since we treat others with respect, we emulate saying please and thank you and the children generally follow, but we are not creating robots, we are raising children
-eat until your full
-we offer healthy choices and so whatever you eat is fine.
we also have more "regular" rules, like:
no running in the living room
toys stay in the playroom
clean up after yourself
no playing on the stairs
But we encourage play, we encourage independence, we encourage love, we encourage hugging and snuggling, and we encourage respect.
We also encourage mistakes. Try it for yourself.... tell us why it did/ didn't work...what do you think could help make it work better next time... etc. We encourage discussion and compromise.
|baby A, 2012 :)|
A child that is independent and can negotiate, does NOT mean they come from a permissive home, or are a result of a "hands-off" parent. It means their parents have RAISED them to be an individual member of society, and not a robot that needs their handler to push the appropriate response button.
Just a thought....