Sunday Surf- NEW finds

So, here's a wrap up of some great websites/blogs I discovered this week. Feel free to share your faves here, or on my Facebook page, or on Twitter.

Playtime

A great post on the extinction of imaginative play by Confessions of an Earthy Young Mom

While this is not a new concept, given the exhaustive list of new toys on the market every year, it is one worth constantly visiting. I think sometimes we get lost in the moment, our child wants toy A, or sees another kid with toy B, or you (as the parent) want to get them that cute little toy C. But the fact of the matter is, that all of these toys that light up, make noise, move, talk, etc. just create a world of chaos- not only for you, but for your children.

In lieu of all the distractions, create a calm, nurturing, and enriching place for your child(ren) to play. As Earthy Young Mom mentions, toys made of cloth, wood, etc. are all great choices. Forcing kids to use their own imaginations is not only a great learning experience for them, but far less distracting than all the noise/lights/instruction of the mass produced, chemical filled toys that line todays' store shelves.

Some great resources for natural toys include;

 (picture from www.hipmountainmama.com)

Hip Mountain Mama

Natural Family Supplies

and, of course, NurtureMe

(also at www.diapers.com you can click on 'green baby' and they have some options as well)


Positive Parenting

Another fabulous recent discovery for me is the constant down to earth wisdom of Job Description: Mommy. Her recent post on Positive Parenting was great for me, because of it's quick-view way of looking at the seemingly daunting task of 'positive parenting'.

Let's be real, if you're me- you want to be a great parent, and have it all together, be a positive role model and do everything you can not to kill your kids spirit... right? But, if you're like me- you also have a toddler. THIS is where things get interesting. How do you stay positive ALL day when you have an infant screaming for attention, a toddler throwing a tantrum, the house is a disaster, the dog just barfed on the floor, and.... well, you get the picture.

Well, this is why I loved this post so much! You don't have to be perfect all the time- aim for 8 positive for every 1 negative. That's fair enough.

Something I have always strived for, is ignoring behaviors that do not threaten basic quality of life, limb, or property- aka. pick your battles. Some things are worth addressing, others just aren't.

Nurturing Touch, and maintaining a strong marriage/foundation  are things I have previously discussed on the blog, which I clearly also find important :)

Health & Family

Are you part of a CSA in your community? Not far from my family's home is Brookford Farm, which runs a seasonal CSA.

(you can check out where to find their products here, or get information on their CSA options here)

 

But why bring all this up now, you ask? Because of one of their latest blog posts on their Farmers-In-Schools program. How great is it, that they are teaching children not only responsibility, work ethic, and cooking- but also the underlying lessons of eating a balanced diet, consisting of healthy, nourishing, organic, and home grown food! The school even uses their 'harvests' for soup every week!

My own son has been in a preschool program where they grow a garden, and then their snacks (provided by the school) are typically vegetables grown from the garden (when available, since we live in Maine). But even his program (not a Waldorf program), provides water and fruits and vegetables- and then the lunches (provided by the parents) are not to contain nuts, processed foods like Lunchables or fruit snacks, white bread, etc. Should they contain those items, the school will provide a healthier option for your child, encouraging students, and parents- to consider healthier options, even for on-the-go families.

In summary

The theme this week clearly is about being 'natural'. Natural play, with natural products. Simplicity. Natural communication, and hence natural parenting. Go with the flow. Natural food, natural resources, and a natural healthier lifestyle.


* note: I strive to be as natural as possible. Truth be told, it is sometimes cost prohibitive. I am not claiming to be 'all natural'- we are not. I shop at WalMart, and Target... my kids have toys that light up and make noise... my children watch television, and I can't always buy organic produce. What I DO, is try to get as much simplicity in my life as possible. While sometimes strictly driven by finances, we get as many second hand items as possible (recycling), we recycle, we compost (not in the winter- again, we live in Maine), we buy as much organic when we can, we avoid processed foods whenever possible, we use cloth diapers, and we avoid filling our home with unnecessary items and clutter. 


How do you stay natural/simple on a budget?

Letter to a Ghost

Dear Ghost, 

I think about you often, even after all these years

Sometimes I think I see you, but you're never there

Sometimes I think I hear you, but that would be impossible

Do you hear me when I speak to you?

Yes, I still speak to you.

Would you listen if you could hear me?

I wonder what you would say to me, if anything.

Are you happy, where you are?

My life has changed dramatically since our paths last crossed, 

I remain a sister, and daughter, and friend

but am now too, a wife and mother and stepmom. 

the now seemingly futile things I used to complain about have become distant memories, 

while the day to day struggles of finances, child rearing, custody and housekeeping fill my days. 

Do you struggle?

Do you wonder?

What do you see, from where you are? 

Dear Ghost, 

Give me a sign, if you can hear me....

Feed with Love & Respect: Beginning the Attachment Process

Principle 2 of Attachment Parenting : Feeding with Love & Respect

"Whether a parent is breastfeeding or bottle feeding, the purpose of this chapter is to help you understand how feeding your child enhances your future attachment relationship" (p68).

Feeding your child is more than just providing nourishment, it goes back to the old adage "food is love". Whether we are satiating our crying infants, or providing a meal at the family dinner table- it should be a time of love and connection.

Breastfeeding

(one of my fave pics, from the post Breastfeeding, My Daughters, and Body Image by The Leaky B@@b)

The reason breastfeeding is used as the initial attachment model, is because by sheer design, it provides the necessity of mom and baby to be close and touching. Touching creates bonding. Make sense?
Baby feels the warmth of your body, the softness of your skin, and can hear your heartbeat, similar to his/her experience in the womb. Since there are no ounces to measure, mom follows baby's cues on when s/he is hungry and when s/he is full.  (My own tip * NEVER wake a sleeping baby to eat. I find this utterly ridiculous! Barring any obvious medical condition, a "normal" baby will wake when they are hungry. Believe me.)

There are obviously nutritional and physiological benefits to both you and your baby when you breastfeed, as well as the facts that nursing is FREE, and always ready (versus needing to make a bottle) which are some added perks :)

Adopting?
You can breastfeed as long as at some point previously, you have passed a placenta. Use the Supplemental Nursing System to get started. 

Bottle Nursing

Yes, I said bottle-nursing. The theory? Create the same bonding experience as with breastfeeding, but with a bottle! In other words, hold the baby close to you, maintain eye contact, and read the baby's cues for when s/he is done eating, etc. Again, barring some kind of medical condition, there is no magic number of ounces your baby must eat at each feeding. S/he will let you know when they are hungry, and it will be quite clear (either by protest or by puking) that they are done :)

*My own tip: feeding schedules don't work. Baby will tell you when they need to eat and when they're done. Showing them you care about and understand their cues, lay the foundation for a strong attachment relationship later on.

*Check out my bottle recommendations at my NurtureMe Store

Dads

"A father's relationship with the baby is unique and extremely important to the child's overall development. It is important that fathers...know that they can still develop a close relationship with their baby in many ways other than feeding- such as holding or burping the baby...bathing the baby, changing a diaper, practicing infant massage, taking walks or naps together, and playfully interacting with the baby. Also, when a father nurtures the mother, he nurtures the baby" (p78).

Moms

"Feeding time is the ideal time to take a break, rest, and refuel...Just as a baby flourishes when fed by his mother, the new mother flourishes when nurtured by her partner...Mothers need frequent rest, plentiful fluids, and adequate nutrition" (p78).

The Family Table

 (Sirois family Thanksgiving 2010)

Mealtime is a time to connect, nourish, and yes, nurture :) but not just for infants cradled in our arms. The family table is a great way to connect, communicate, nourish, and nurture EVERY member of the family! Sharing wholesome, healthy meals in a calm and relatively quiet (that's right people- turn off your TV's and computers and cell phones!) environment provides for a daily strengthening of your attachment relationship.

We are just teaching our toddler how to communicate at the dinner table. We make sure to sit down to eat together every night, and now even baby A has her place at the table in her highchair, and now we are barely sitting down before our toddler starts with "so mama, how was your day? what did you do today?", etc. And we go around the table and everyone asks/answers the same questions :)

Please share how you get your family to participate in dinner discussion? Do you sit together for meals nightly/weekly/never?

Nurturing the Nurturer

Just thought this was SO fitting for this blog :) Thank you to The Leaky B@@b for writing it! :)

Check out 22 Ways to Nurture the Nurturer

Fill me in on your favorite Leaky B@@b post!

NurtureMe

Like what you see on the blog? Want to know other products we use at home? Check out the new NurtureMe Store at the bottom of the page. I'll keep adding as we go, but if you have some products to suggest, please let me know! I'd love to hear your thoughts.

What are your favorite 'green' products?

Nurturing Touch: Massage & Chiropractic Therapy for Infants and Children

Day 2 in the hospital after giving birth to baby A, with cracked and bleeding and insanely sore nipples, (isn't this supposed to be easier the second time around?! Ugh!) the lactation consultant tells me I need to see an OMT to improve baby A's latch. So after settling in at home, I call the numbers they gave me for the therapists in my area, none of which take our insurance. Ugh.

So I call the lactation consultant and immediately make another appointment. Baby A is exclusively nursing, although I am incredibly sore, and she seems satiated, but she certainly does NOT have a strong latch. I have always called her "sippy Susan" :)  as she is on/off/on/off/on/off the whole time she is nursing, which could last anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour! I ask the lactation consultant exactly what this appointment with the OMT would accomplish. She tells me they do some small 'manipulations' of the skull and neck, focusing on the jaw to improve the baby's ability to open their mouth wider and thus latch better.

And I immediately think, hey! My chiropractor could do that!

I call that day, and schedule baby A an appointment with my chiropractor (New England Chiropractic) - who, by the way, I completely and utterly recommend if you are anywhere near the Westbrook, Maine area!  Dr. Kelly explained to me that they see many infants for issues like colic, constipation, and latch problems like baby A's. She completed her initial consultation and explained to me that baby A had several areas in her lower back that needed adjusting, as well as her hip.

After several visits, we saw a significant difference in her behavior (she was what many would describe as "colicky") as well as an improvement in her latch and overall nursing behavior. She was sleeping more restfully, and was overall a more content baby.

Our chiropractor also discussed the benefits of massage therapy, and since it just so happens that I have an amazing aunt who is a licensed massage therapist- I was able to have her give baby A a massage and walk me through how to give them at home. When you massage your baby or child at home, pay less attention to technique (save that for the professionals), and more attention to your baby's body. It's a great time for you to "tune in" to what your baby really wants. Baby A loves the glute massage! :) She gets all giggly, and her whole body relaxes. She also enjoys when I rub her itty bitty fingers in between mine. I have also started giving massages to my toddler, who much prefers the leg massage.

"My favorite part about baby massage is the parent's face while massaging their baby. They smile the entire time. Like trying to keep your eyes open when sneezing is impossible, massaging a baby and not smiling is equally impossible. All involved reap benefits; the baby, the parent (or caregiver), and the massage therapist. Each leaves the experience with different yet equally significant good vibes. It's a wonderful thing and for the Massage Therapist, who also smiles the whole time, it's an energy boost that fills your tank for the rest of the day."

-Nancy Primo, CLMT 

Have you taken your infant/children to a chiropractor and/or massage therapist? What was your experience like?

A Semi Day-in-the-Life of Me & My kidzzzz :)

Wow, so like anyone else, sometimes you take a minute to look around and are like, HOW is this happening?! So, in being at a loss for words, I thought I would share some of my week thus far (and yes, it's only Tuesday) through pictures..

So first, our rotting bananas were re born into this delicious banana bread, recipe compliments of one of my besties, Christina :)  Cream 1 stick of cultured butter, 3 bananas, 2 eggs, and 1 cup sugar. In another bowl, mix 2 cups wheat flour, 1 tspn baking powder, and 1/2 tspn baking soda. Mix together wet & dry ingredients. Add nuts or chocolate/carob chips if desired. Bake at 350 for 45- 60 minutes. Enjoy!

My toddler came home from school with these "Valentines" for my husband and I that he made at school. So cute, even though my toddler then ate them both :)

This morning, around 11:30am I think it was, as I was attempting to get some dishes done and take a shower, I took stock of our home, and had to just laugh. THIS is what I was looking at:

a kitchen covered in chalk and action figures.... and a random plate....

a living room in complete disarray....

yes, even with memory cards ALL over the floor... sigh.... (all while the toddler is playing with the chalk in the kitchen lol)

play area= destruction zone # 3... double ugh....

.... bed unmade, and changing table .... well, UGH.... :)

now enter toddler wanting some juice, complete with bringing me his cup ....

Last but not least, remainder of morning spent washing cloth diapers...

....and feeding the toddler, who YES is still in his jammies... lunch :)

So ladies & gentlemen, the moral of this story, is that it does not matter if your kids (or you for that matter) stay in your jammies all day, or if your house is in a state of complete and utter chaos.

What matters to me, is today, I spent the majority of the day being Batman, and Lightning McQueen, and the Lion King, and a baby rocker, and baby feeder, and toddler hugger, and movie buddy, and yoga partner, and cook, and maid, and mommy, and wifey, and babysitter! But all in all, a wonderfully productive (albeit exhausting) day :)



One of my faves from kellymom:

What Did I Do Today?

What did I do today?
Today I left some dishes dirty,
The bed got made around 3:30.
The diapers soaked a little longer,
The odor grew a little stronger.
The crumbs I spilled the day before,
Are staring at me from the floor.
The fingerprints there on the wall,
Will likely be there still next fall.
The dirty streaks on those window panes,
Will still be there next time it rains.
Shame on you, you sit and say,
Just what did you do today? 

I nursed a baby till he slept,
I held a toddler while she wept.
I played a game of hide and seek,
I squeezed a toy so it would squeak.
I pulled a wagon, sang a song,
Taught a child right from wrong.
What did I do this whole day through?
Not much that shows, I guess that' s true.
Unless you think that what I've done,
Might be important to someone,
With bright brown eyes and soft brown hair,
If that is true...I've done my share. 

-Author Unknown